Stuff, Things, and Opinions

Thoughts and ramblings on life, and myself.

There's good weeks, there's bad weeks, and there's those weeks. Those weeks when, no matter what you do, nothing feels right. Those weeks when your mood is at rock bottom, you're angry at the entire world, and you just want to stand on the rooftop and scream until it stops.

Yeah, I'm having one of those weeks.

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I'm only two weeks in, but I'd forgotten how much I enjoy learning. Having an excuse to spend hours and hours of my week immersing myself in knowledge is such a joy.

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I’m a student again. At the age of 34½ I am heading back to university studying “Natural Sciences”.

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I do like a good gif. The other day, I came across this beauty, which so perfectly explains something I find incredibly hard to put into words: anxiety.

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I did something last week that I have never done before. At the age of 31, I hung a pair of curtains. Yes, I did; and what’s more I’m proud of it. They’re big, they’re blue and they’re ruining my life.

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In 2006-7, Lebanon and Israel were once again at war. I don’t know what the reason was that time. What I do know is how it was covered in the western media: polarisation, extremism, bombings and terror. I suppose all of those things were happening but they didn’t involve the whole population.

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When I posted yesterday, I really didn’t know what the reaction of other people would be. In the end I’ve been bowled over with kindness and support – some of the time from complete strangers. Right now I feel like I’m walking on air. All of your kind thoughts and words have made a huge, huge difference. They really have.

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311 days ago I was formally, and finally, diagnosed with severe, major depression. Some of you will know what happened to finally tip me over the edge, some of you won’t. But as I now feel ready, I wanted to explain – as much as I can – what has been going in with me for the last year, and before.

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